


desire, to live

by determination



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, noct cameos but thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/determination/pseuds/determination
Summary: All Luna ever wanted was to fulfill her destiny. At least, that's what she thought, until the moments leading up to her fated death. But it seems that Fate just might have other ideas.





	desire, to live

**Author's Note:**

> i don't!!! feel super good about this one!!! this is the last of the fics i wrote somewhat recently. i really love gentiluna but i don't feel like i did them justice... i just want them to be happy though ToT  
> once i get out of this writers block, i'd love to write more gentiluna.... hopefully soon..........  
> thanks for reading, and please no criticisms or critiques!

Luna knew she was destined to die from the moment she was old enough to understand it. The feeling was ever present, looming, at times almost comforting in that there was at least one thing constant, even when everything else morphed around her. 

Her fate had been set in stone two millennia ago, when the prophecy originated, and she had come to accept this - to look forward to it, even. She would fulfill her duty, she would have helped bring light back to the world, and then she would be able to find peace.

It had always been a lonely path. However, she found solace in the knowledge that it was shared by another. Perhaps it was cruel, knowing what Noctis would have to accomplish, but she felt better knowing they would meet again once everything was said and done. 

Her love for Noctis was what spurred her on, even when she felt like there was no choice but to give up. At least, that's what she told herself. It was not the type of love that people had come to believe her to feel, and certainly not the type of love that would make her happy knowing they were to wed.

She loved Noctis, but it was the innocent love of a child. In her eyes, she still saw the young boy in the wheelchair, so curious and eager to help, yet naïve of the true nature of his fate. She wanted to help him, was desperate to offer her aid to this conceptual boy who no longer existed. She knew this, but it was difficult to separate the past from the present when they hadn't seen each other in so many years.

And that aside, she had Gentiana with her. Even knowing the messenger's true identity, that had not stopped the formation of a strong bond between the pair. It was as intimate of a relationship as Luna had ever known. They often didn't need to speak to communicate, and Gentiana always seemed to understand exactly what Luna was feeling. Where her brother was harsh and angry in the face of Luna's duties and the toll they took on her - not that Luna would ever fault him for it, she knew he cared about her fiercely - Gentiana was a breath of fresh air, a cool breeze on heated skin, a brush of fingers over Luna's clenched fist when she could sense that Luna was in pain or overwhelmed. She was gentle, attentive, soft yet passionate in ways Luna could scarcely begin to fathom, and that scared her.

She liked Gentiana, perhaps more than she should. 

And that was why, when the sick sense of her own impending downfall washed over Luna like the tidal waves Leviathan was awakening, the first thing that crossed Luna's mind was how much she would miss Gentiana's presence. 

She should have been ready to accept this outcome, as she had always prepared for it; but she found herself wanting to see Gentiana again, one last time. She hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. 

It was a selfish thought, one she forced down immediately. She knew better; the prophecy came first. Her own feelings and desires were unimportant. All she had to do was fulfill her duty.

She was ripped from her thoughts as she watched Noctis, knocked out of the air by a blow from Leviathan, plummet to one of the broken platforms surrounding the area. Luna's heart leapt to her throat, but as she made to hurry toward him, she felt a sharp sting in her chest, strong enough to cause her to stagger and collapse. Clutching her hand to her heart, she fought the urge to cry out in pain. The feeling was overwhelming, seeping into her lungs and making even drawing a breath difficult. 

Was this it? Had she finally reached her end?

When she heard the sound of footsteps behind her, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. Those steps belonged to death itself.

The steps came closer, slowly, yet each one punctuated with a finality that made fear shoot through Luna's whole body. 

Ardyn came into view a second later, wearing a smug grin on his face. He sauntered to Luna's side, bringing with him the scent of darkness and decay. When he met Luna's gaze, his eyes were empty. 

"Oh, Lady Lunafreya, how unfortunate. The prince, down and out for the count, and yet... here you are." Ardyn's voice dripped with disdain as he knelt down to Luna's level. "I'd ask about the ring, but... oh, that's right, you already gave it to him." 

Luna withheld a gasp as one of Ardyn's hands lunged out and gripped her chin forcefully. It was an attempt to intimidate her, but she refused to give in or show the weakness he desired to find in her. Instead, she pushed through the ache in her chest to raise her arms and gently take his arm. His grip loosened in surprise, and Luna took that moment to renew the pulse of her magic, allowing it to radiate to where she held Ardyn in what would likely be her last healing, whether she were allowed to complete it or not. 

When she spoke, her voice was full of conviction, just like the light that undulated from her hands. "When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace."

Ardyn's expression twisted into contempt. In the next instant, he yanked his hand back and threw Luna aside, standing to his full height. Luna coughed as another surge of pain seized her chest, but she fought it as she forced herself to her feet, using her trident to steady herself.

"How sweet," Ardyn murmured, giving her a sickening smile, "but please Lady Lunafreya, you first."

That was when Luna noticed the dagger in his hand.

The realization that she was about to be dealt a fatal wound seemed to slow down time. It felt as though she were watching in slow motion, her heart hammering wildly in her chest. Her mind raced with a cacophony of thoughts fighting to be heard. 

She knew she should accept this. It was the moment she had always known was coming, and though she hadn't ever considered she would be murdered, she supposed there were worse ways to go. She had fulfilled her duty as the prophecy commanded. As the Oracle, she knew there was no greater honor.

Still, in her last seconds, she found herself paralyzed with fear and longing. It tore her apart, knowing she would never see Gentiana again. Nothing could be more daunting, nor more depressing. Gentiana, who had been a steadfast companion through Luna's entire life; who had warmed Luna's heart with kindness and devotion through even the hardest of times; whose care had kept Luna going when she felt weighed down by the crushing pressure of her birthright; who continued to nurse Luna through her declining health; who had never judged Luna for her emotions or hardships, no matter how inconsequential or pathetic they felt to Luna herself.

On all accounts, Gentiana had been the best thing to ever happen to Luna. And more than the pride Luna felt at having accomplished her duty, she was overwhelmed by a feeling she dared not name, one that coursed through her like a jolt of electricity and filled her with the dizzying desire for a different outcome. 

It was too late, though, and she knew this. She buried the feeling deep down as she closed her eyes and waited for the moment the dagger would plunge into her.

She waited - but the sensation never came.

Rather, she was surprised to feel a gust of cold wind strike her face, a chill shivering down her spine. It brought with it a hope that Luna knew was futile, but she felt it all the same, and it was with baited breath that she slowly blinked her eyes open.

In front of her, twinkling like freshly fallen snow, stood the very woman she had so longed to see once more. Her mouth fell open in astonishment. Then she registered the thick ice coating Ardyn's arm where he'd held the dagger, the weapon itself having fallen to the ground at his feet. 

"Gentiana," Luna let the name fall from her lips. The tone of her own voice made her heart skip a beat, shocking her with how enamored she sounded. 

"You!" Ardyn growled, clutching his frozen arm with the other. He glared at Gentiana with a fierceness Luna could only imagine Gentiana to be replicating, as Ardyn made no move to approach or attack her. Gentiana's back was to Luna as she stood protectively before her, poised elegantly as if doing so were the easiest thing in the world. Luna longed to see what expression she wore, but was content to watch her from behind; the fact alone that she had appeared so suddenly to save Luna's life sent a thrum of elation through her. 

"You're not supposed to be here," Ardyn muttered darkly, visibly shaking with rage. "This isn't how it's supposed to go!"

"Perhaps it is not," Gentiana spoke softly. Her voice was the reassurement Luna didn't know she needed, a grounding reminder that this was real and that Gentiana truly had come to her. 

Ardyn let out a frustrated noise. He made a lunge for the dagger, but Gentiana was quicker, ice crawling up Ardyn's legs to keep him firmly in place. With a delicate motion, Gentiana kicked the dagger off the side of the platform the three of them occupied. 

"Then why are you here," Ardyn demanded through gritted teeth. Ice had begun to coat his hands as well, weighing him down. He looked almost feral, a stark contrast to the aloof facade he always tried to maintain. It made Luna's chest tighten uncomfortably, but Gentiana's serenity kept her calm.

As the messenger went on, her voice was filled with a quiet determination that made Luna's skin prickle. "If you wish to know, fallen king, then you need only assess what has just occurred." Gentiana was smiling, Luna was almost certain even without being able to see her face. "This girl is precious to me. I will not let any harm come to her."

Luna's heart soared at those words. Unlike the despair that had plagued her just minutes ago, she now felt invigorated, resolve restored by the presence of her companion and the nature of her admission.

"So, you're selfish is what you mean to say," Ardyn sneered. "Do you really think the others will accept that reasoning? Or am I wrong in assuming the gods would allow one of their own to disrupt the precious flow of their meticulously orchestrated prophecy?"

His statement hit Luna like a slap of icy water. Then... this truly was where she had been fated to die? The Astrals had truly intended for her death to occur at the hands of this man... and for what? Her death meant Noctis would be on his own for the rest of the prophecy. Her death meant that, despite her role as Oracle, she had ultimately been useless, only gaining worth once her life was taken. 

She realized now what the truth of her duties meant. She was a bargaining chip. She aided Noctis in earning the gods' favor, but she only existed to ensure Noctis did as the gods instructed. She had always been complicit. Yet why was it now that such revelations brought a bitter taste to her mouth? 

Surely Gentiana's presence by her side had been of her own volition, not a simple tactic to keep Luna in line. Otherwise Gentiana would not have been here at this moment, protecting Luna from the inevitable death that had been predetermined for her. 

"I do not care what judgment is passed upon me," Gentiana's voice drew Luna from her thoughts. "We... The Astrals have always been selfish beings. And because of this, I have closed my eyes and covered my ears for far too long, and ignored all opportunities to find another way. Now I will not back down. I refuse to let her be the sacrifice." She lifted her head defiantly toward the sky where Leviathan still rose, the Hydrean's cries resounding around them. "I accept the consequences. I knew from the moment my celestial body was slain by the Empire that my fate would differ."

As if to answer, Leviathan roared, the sound brimming with anger and betrayal. 

"You Astrals make no sense," Ardyn loosed a bitter laugh. The rage in him had seemed to calm, replaced by a wry boredom. "You'd give up divinity for one measly girl? What could you possibly hope to achieve? Her time is already limited."

"It matters not to the likes of you." Now Gentiana turned to Luna, the gentlest of smiles on her face. Luna's heart skipped a beat (or perhaps more) as she was pulled into a protective embrace. "Now return whence you came, king of darkness. No blood shall be spilt here by your hand." 

The ice encasing Ardyn melted and he abruptly collapsed to his knees. He lifted his head to glare at Gentiana once more before standing and brushing himself off. "You'll regret this." With that final sentiment, Ardyn took one step and vanished. 

Luna was startled by his sudden disappearance, but her mind refused to linger on it, not when Gentiana was still holding her so close. Her touch was tender as she raised a hand to cup Luna's cheek, gazing into her eyes with an unabashed affection that caught Luna off guard.

"He is wrong," Gentiana murmured. Luna gave her a questioning look, which earned a soft, twinkling laugh that gave her goosebumps. "I would never regret saving the most beautiful soul in all of Eos." 

Luna's face burned as flush brightened her cheeks. She wanted the moment to last, desperately wanted nothing more than to remain in Gentiana's arms for longer, but a more pressing issue was at hand. Gentiana seemed to sense what she was thinking, and released Luna with evident reluctance to turn toward where Noctis still lied. Luna was relieved to see he was conscious, and even moreso to see the smile he gave her when their eyes met. 

So that had been Ardyn's plan. To deal a death blow while Noctis watched on, unable to help. He would have used her death to motivate Noctis, through bitterness and obligation. 

She would have hated such an outcome. But it was not to be, as the squeeze to her shoulder from Gentiana reminded her.

"Shall we lend the King our aid?" Gentiana asked, reverent and breathtaking. 

Luna nodded, her grip on her trident tightening. "I'm ready."

With the comfort of Gentiana beside her, Luna held the trident out and inwardly recited the words to call forth the power of their forebears.  _ Aid Noctis _ , she silently pleaded,  _ give him the strength needed to overcome this trial _ . The trident in her hands began to glow, as did the spot where Noctis' body was. As he was lifted into the air, the Oracle's Trident floated out of her hands and joined the array of weapons that burst to life around him. 

His eyes now burned with a bright determination. Luna knew beyond doubt that he would succeed in winning Leviathan's favor. 

But now that she had completed her duty to the extent of her abilities, and the gravity of her circumstances had caught up with her, a wave of fatigue washed over her, her knees giving out under her. Gentiana was there in an instant to catch her, gentle arms supporting her before she could collide with the ground. Luna wanted so badly to thank Gentiana, to truly thank her for everything, but her body had grown so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, and her mouth refused to cooperate, words sticking in her throat. 

The last thing she saw was Gentiana's fond smile. Before she slipped into unconsciousness, she heard her companion whisper, "rest, my precious girl. You've done so well."

Blissful sleep came to her.

 

-

 

Luna awoke slowly. Lingering grogginess clouded her mind, and for a few long moments, she lied there, eyes closed, basking in the peace of a restful night. 

Presently, recollections of the prior events surfaced in her thoughts. The trial for Leviathan's blessing, Noctis' plight, Luna's encounter with Ardyn, Gentiana's appearance and subsequent rescue... 

Gentiana!

Her eyes flew open and she sat up abruptly, determined to find her companion, but her body ached in protest. Letting out a groan, Luna collapsed back into bed, trying to ignore the dull throbbing pain in her head. 

"Be careful, dearest Lunafreya. You should not push yourself too hard when you are still recovering." The very voice she'd wanted to hear came from beside her, and she immediately looked over to find Gentiana sitting in a chair next to the bed, Pryna and Umbra by her feet. The creatures barked in greeting, bringing a smile to Luna's face. 

"Gentiana," Luna murmured, gazing at her companion with unbridled joy. She held out one hand, which Gentiana readily took, threading their fingers together. The chilly touch of her skin was a welcome, familiar sensation that thrilled Luna as she took in her surroundings. "Where are we?"

"The Leville," Gentiana told her. She gestured for the other two messengers to leave, and they did so. "Once the Hydrean had been calmed, the King and his allies chased the Empire out of Altissia. We were lucky this hotel was relatively untouched, so as to give us a place of solace." Bringing up her other hand, Gentiana stroked the back of Luna's hand with gentle fingertips. "They will be pleased to learn that you have woken."

"Noctis was successful, then." Luna said it more to confirm to herself than for affirmation from her companion, which Gentiana understood as she nodded once. "And what of yourself, Gentiana? Are you alright?"

"Me?" Gentiana seemed surprised to have the question turned upon her. "Why would I not be?"

Luna bit her bottom lip, suddenly embarrassed. "Well, I... That is... I thought the other Astrals might have..." She couldn't figure out how to finish the sentence, but Gentiana seemed to understand anyway. 

"You needn't worry, my precious girl," she said with a soft smile. The use of the pet name again caused blush to brighten Luna's face, her heart stuttering in her chest. "I knew what I was doing when I made my choice. They may not fully accept it, but it is not their decision to make." 

"So..." Luna held Gentiana's gaze. The sensation of Gentiana's hands on hers was making her feel indescribably warm despite the chilly touch of her skin, but she did her best to ignore it and voice her question. "What does this mean?"

Gentiana looked thoughtful. She squeezed Luna's hand before answering. "It means... that fate has changed." Her eyes sparkled with something Luna couldn't pinpoint, but it made her heart skip a beat. "You live on, despite the prophecy foreseeing your demise. I live on, accepting my new mortality." 

Luna's eyes widened. "Mortality...?" she repeated, confused. "Wait, do you... Is that what Ardyn meant?" Her heart raced as Gentiana smiled at her again, so tender and full of affection.

"The goddess Shiva has been exiled as a betrayer. Like her old lover, the Infernian, she was felled. However, unlike the Infernian, who was reborn of scourge and darkness, Shiva was reborn... a mortal. This was her choice. A long time ago, such would have been viewed as a harsh punishment. But...." Gentiana squeezed Luna's hand again. "I do not see it that way."

Luna could hardly contain her emotions, unsure of exactly what she was feeling in that moment. A mixture of surprise, alarm, guilt, but perhaps most of all... excitement, and love.

She licked her lips, suddenly aware of how dry her throat felt. "So... You... are simply Gentiana now?" 

"I am simply Gentiana now," her companion echoed, practically glowing, "who wishes very much to be with the one who showed her that good still exists in this world." 

It took all of Luna's effort not to burst into tears. Gentiana, as always, could sense how she felt, and, without question, stood and crossed the room to bring her a glass of water. Luna accepted it gratefully, drinking slowly both to quench her parched throat and to calm herself. By the time she was able to speak again, more questions had formed in her mind.

"But what of the prophecy? Will it not still play out as was foreseen? And..." She hesitated, swallowing hard. "Ardyn was not wrong. You above all should know that I do not have much time left, given the... current state of my body." 

"Your concerns are justified, dearest Lunafreya." Gentiana was as gentle as ever as she settled back into her seat and took Luna's hand again. "I have had my doubts about the prophecy for some time, but I believed myself incapable of making a difference. However, having done so now in saving your life, I find myself wondering if there is not another way. Needless sacrifices mustn't be made." She brought Luna's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. Luna gasped at the contact, her face bright red. "No matter what it takes, I will find a way for you to live. No force in Eos will take you from me."

Tears stung Luna's eyes as she let those words sink in, resonating in her heart and breathing life into her lungs. She could feel Gentiana's conviction, emphasized even more through the tender touch of her lips on Luna's skin. 

For the first time in her life, Luna truly felt the desire to live. It went beyond the obligations of being Oracle, beyond her desire to help Noctis. And more than that, she felt a hope she scarcely would have ever imagined before now.

It was possible to change fate. It was possible that Noctis might not have to die to stop Ardyn and eliminate the scourge. It was possible that, somehow, Luna could have a future with Gentiana. 

Would it be alright, to let herself hope? To believe in the possibility?

"Do not think too hard, my precious girl," Gentiana chuckled. "For now, focus on resting. Once you have recovered your strength, we will figure things out together."

Luna nodded, then shook her head to clear the thoughts from it. She focused instead on Gentiana's presence at her side, the endlessly affectionate look in her eye as she gazed at Luna, the way she had started to lean in closer-

"Ah," Luna mumbled when she realized how close Gentiana had gotten, the tips of their noses brushing. 

Gentiana was still smiling, the dazzling smile that made Luna's heart beat wildly in anticipation. "May I?" Gentiana asked quietly.

Not trusting herself to vocalize an answer, Luna nodded her affirmation. She tried to keep her eyes open, curious to see what expression her companion would wear; but the instant Gentiana's lips touched hers, her eyes slipped closed, a contented sigh escaping her. 

It was a chaste kiss, short and sweet, but it

still made Luna's skin feel hot, her head swim, and her pulse race. She smiled and blinked her eyes open as Gentiana pulled away. Nothing had ever made her feel so happy, nor so cherished. 

"Gentiana," she found her voice, amazed that it had come out at all, considering how overstimulated she felt, "I have a request."

"Anything you ask of me, you shall have," Gentiana responded fondly.

Luna tried to quell how flustered she felt at voicing her desire, having grown so used to never allowing herself anything selfish. It took a significant effort to go on, and at that point Gentiana's smile had widened, which simply made Luna blush even more brightly.

"... I believe I would best recover... That is to say, I would rest better if... you were... to join me." Luna finished in a small voice and averted her gaze as she patted the space beside her on the bed. 

A warm laugh bubbled over Gentiana's lips. Luna continued to avoid looking toward her, but felt the distinct sensation of weight pressing down on the bed. After a moment, she felt gentle hands guiding her head to Gentiana's shoulder, and then one of Gentiana's arms wrapped around her, holding her in a loose embrace. 

"Is this alright?" her companion asked. 

Luna reveled in the new position, the simple intimacy enough to make her happy beyond words. She could only muster a short nod, too overjoyed to speak. 

This did not bother Gentiana, who hummed her own pleasure at their closeness, and began brushing her fingers through Luna's hair. The sensation was comforting and pleasant, and made Luna's eyelids heavy. She let them close and focused on the feeling of Gentiana at her side, Gentiana's gentle touch, and the steady beat of her heart. 

She didn't know what the future held. That scared her, especially without the guidance of the prophecy dictating how she should live. But knowing Gentiana would be there, to help her, to stay with her, to  _ live _ with her, made her feel at peace. They would go forward together, and find a way to live. And that would be enough for Luna.

 


End file.
